Congrats to Rap Master Sass who finished Ironman Arizona 2009!

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Race Report by Jon Sasser

Stumbling through the darkness of the Arizona desert, I see no sign of the Marine I’ve been stalking for the past fourteen hours. Going head to head with a man young enough to be my son, whose body fat is about one fifth of mine, no longer seems like such a good idea. I’m also wondering if taking $400 from the Pima Tribe, who have called this valley home since 400 A.D., might be bad karma.

Suddenly, I hear my name. “Look ahead, Jon, not at your feet!” “Your man is five miles ahead of you, but he’s starting to crack.” Great. I have 13 miles to close to one hour behind him. I have convinced myself that, if I do, I have a chance to go to Hawaii and endure even worse conditions. Somehow, I dig down and pick up the pace.

The day had begun so pleasantly: a brisk, two-block stroll from the Mission Palms to the Tempe Town Lake transition area, carrying the three usual bags. There I was met by Troy, the director, maitre d’ and fixer for IM XC. While 2500 Type A+ head cases quietly panicked and fretted with their bikes, wetsuits, transition bags, and bathroom lines, Troy pumped my tires and wrote my two-digit race number on my arms.

The Executive Challenge is definitely the way to do an Ironman. Instead of waiting in a 1200-person line in the Arizona sun to pick up my packet, I attended a catered reception. While I held a near beer in one hand, Heather Fuhr, the queen of triathlon, pinned my race bracelet on my other wrist. We spent two days eating brunches, chatting with the likes of Paula Newby Fraser and Roch Frey, and getting tours of the course and transition area from pro Michael Lovato.

The dozen other participants included CEOs, CTOs, and VPs of some of America’s top companies. One businessman was from Italy, and another from the UK. I was the only one to bring his man servant, however. I even had a special name tag made for Alan that read “Sherpa/Bike Mechanic.”

We lined up like lemmings to jump or be pushed off the wall into the lake. Each time someone went in, they would pop up and scream something about ice water. That did not do much to calm the rest of us.

The water was indeed cold! Heeding the advice of veterans, I kept my face out of it till I had warmed my body by swimming a bit. We had to swim about 150 yards under two bridges to reach the start. Bobbing in the water there for a few minutes was excruciating.

Suddenly, the cannon fired. Somebody punched me in the back of the head. The water all around me began churning as hundreds of legs thrashed. I took a deep breath and started swimming.

I got kicked in the face. Someone slapped my foot. Then he hit my ankle, my calf and my thigh. Eventually, he must have figured out I was there.

After about fifteen minutes the sun rose. A cheer went up. Then it got hard to see, as we were swimming due East.

We swam by Sun Devil Stadium, the first of fourteen times I was to pass it this day. After the early maelstrom, I was alone. I assumed everyone had passed me. At the turn buoy after 1.2 miles, swimmers converged from all directions. I was not happy to see — or feel — them.

The return swim was uneventful, other than getting punched in the head. This caused me to stand up in the water, triggering a nasty cramp in my left calf. I tried to kick it loose. Five minutes later, I got punched precisely there, causing the calf to cramp again. I swear it was the same swimmer: dark wet suit, goggles, and a red swim cap.

Volunteers yanked me out into the sunlight. Then pandemonium. A cacophony of shouted orders seemed to come from everywhere: “Unzip your wetsuit! Sit down! Get up! Take your wetsuit!” Halfway to the changing tent, a woman stopped abruptly in front of me: “I don’t have my wetsuit!”

Onto the bike, my nemesis over the last three Ironmans. I had blown it just about every way possible — flat tires, wheels filled with water, overheating. I had given up my chip at the end of the bike, with 18 miles to go, and halfway through.

After taking the first turn on the bike, I got down on the aerobars. Something was not right. I realized that my arms were so tired from the swim that I could not hold myself up. This was a first. Without aerodynamic assistance, my time was going to be slowed dramatically. I sat up for the next twelve miles.

The course zigzags eight miles out of Tempe, past the world’s first indoor surfing facility, the Scottsboro Six drive-in theatres, with several functioning screens visible to the road, and the Casino Arizona whose money I had taken on Friday. Then you get onto a ten-mile stretch of closed freeway, slightly uphill and vastly downwind. I got back down on the bars. When I finally made it to the top end, my average speed in the Bob Segar direction was 14 mph. This is the place my 2008 race had ended.

I plunged back downwind at 25 mph. Some people still passed me, but I generally held my own back into town. My pace raised to 16.6 mph. Christophe took my picture and yelled some encouragement. I headed back out.

The next two laps were not so windy. My average gradually dropped off, as I stopped for bathroom breaks and for my special needs bag. I was still over 16 mph at mile 63.

On the third lap to the top of the Beeline, my feelings were much different from the previous year. No chance of being eliminated here this time. I beat the cut-off by 90 minutes. The five century rides with Vicky and her team, as well as with Alan and Mickey, had paid off.

I did not break seven hours for the bike, but I did start the run under nine. Eight hours to run a marathon. Little did I know it would take me that.

The run scared me. I had badly bruised my foot two weeks earlier, running 400 yards barefooot on pavement at the Beach to Battleship race. After 10 days of no improvement, Dale convinced me to see a podiatrist. Turned out I had a piece of glass in my foot. I was still not sure I could run on it.

Boosted by the cheers and sustenance of the Pla family at the first aid station, I sailed around the first lap. At each station, I took three cups of liquid. I began stopping at Porta-Johns. Then in between them. I probably spent 20 minutes popping in and our of restrooms (or otherwise watering the cacti).

I was the only runner with a headlamp. That made it really easy for Christophe and Alan to sneak up on me in the most unlikely places.

My pace began slowing. Even after Alan’s admonition that I had a chance to run down the young stud between me and Kona, I could go no faster. I eventually dropped below even breaking my own PR, much less beating it by an hour.

But not too slow to break seventeen! After three straight DNFs, the feeling of plowing down the finish chute and hearing Mike Reilly proclaim me an Ironman was unsurpassable.

Thanks to all my friends at Mitterling Milers and RAM, who politely averted your eyes during my bad years. I could not have done it without you.

I’ll close with my favorite story of the event. One of my XC competitors ran into big trouble shortly into the marathon. Like many others, he succumbed to whatever pollutant or parasite was in the lake water we inhaled. He reached his family, and sat down with them by the lake. Everyone agreed that the prudent course was to take the night off.

Then his nine-year-old daughter drew him aside. “But Daddy, you can’t quit. Remember what you always say?” He tried to explain the situation. She replied: “I’ll run the marathon with you.”

He figured she might make fifty yards. The two slipped away down the path. She kept bopping along — for the entire nine-mile loop. She had never run farther than a 5 K.

When he crossed the line, he was asked what size of the much-coveted Finisher’s Shirts he needed. He responded; “Women’s small.” She was wearing it at breakfast.

Race day coverage will be over at Ironman.com.
Note: according to Squeeky, it is *NOT* pronounced Lou-y Ville. You need to swallow any sound after you get the Lou out, then say “ville” from the back of your throat. Keep Elvis in mind when you say it.

The big news for the race is that we are going to have unbelievable weather. We have been training for months assuming low to mid 90s – a deathmarch of a marathon. For the last several days we have been holding our breaths hoping it would hold:

What – KIT Youth/Family Triathlon at Lochmere

When – Saturday August 1, 2009

Where – Lochmere Swim & Tennis Club, Cary NC

Why – Because your kids are faster than you

Late post, but anyone with kids want to join Sandbagger & family next Saturday for this?

Click here for course map. Looks like a lot of fun! Can you imagine if you starting tri’ing when you were a kid? You would have been to Kona already!

There will be a training session Sunday July 26 at 6 PM which I will be at. There is also a beginner adult category. Come on down and join the fun!

Congrats to Litl’bit and Stabu for an awesome race! First place in their age group!

Now lets see the race report and any other cool info about the race for those of us who may do the race in the future.

Placeholder for pix and race reports from Kinetic Half Triathlon 2009

Placeholder for photos and race reports for White Lake Half Triathlon 2009

Results are supposed to be printed by Monday night.

For those of you who missed watching the Ironman Championship on TV, I figured I would repost it on Hulu so you could watch it on your computer.

Click through for HD.

The best running group in Raleigh, Cary, Chapel Hill, Durham and Morrisville turns 2 today. Happy Birthday!

Thanks to all the runners, triathletes, swimmers, cyclists, stand-up comedians, and psychiatrists for keeping us all healthy, fast, and laughing our lungs out!

Whats in store for 2009? A lot of us are doing our umpteenth marathon, an Ironman (our first or our dozenth, definitely not our last), open water swims, half marathons, sprint triathlons, international triathlons, group spin class, triathlon clinic, brick, or otherwise.

We are traveling and competing around the country, around North Carolina, mostly getting together for the classic Saturday morning run at either Umstead Park or Shelley Lake, with some American Tobacco Trail runs, Whole Foods / Meredith College runs, and our Spring/Summer/Fall bricks out at Jordan Lake.

I hope everyone has a great 2009 year running, swimming, cycling, and triathloning. Check out the 2009 racing season post to see what everyone is up to!

This is a placeholder for discussion about the races people are doing for the 2009 racing season.

If we all post our races, it may help with logistics, traveling, lodging, etc.

Registration at Setup Events starts as early as Friday!

Update your USAT membership first.

Then login and update your Setup Events profile with the new membership expiration date. Get this done BEFORE Friday – avoid the server meltdown that has happened the last 3 years.

Confirmed Race List:

Umstead Trail Marathon

Shamrock Marathon

Azalea

Riverwood

Kinetic

White Lake – May 2

White Lake – May 9

Ironman Kentucky

Pinehurst

Article from SlowTwitch.com

Official IM Louisville website

Congrats guys! Looking forward to the race reports.

Rap Master Sass

Hi Training Buddies,

As you may know, I can be followed live tomorrow on Ironman.com or ironmanlive.com. I’m #. 1855. You know the drill.

However, this race is a bit different, since there is no obvious halfway point for any of the legs. The swim is one lap, and the bike and run are three laps each. And I’m running it in a different time zone.

To get done by midnight, I hope to do a 1:45 swim, a ten-minute transition, an eight-hour bike, a five minute transition, and a seven-hour run.

So, I should be out of the water by 10.45 EST, and riding my bike ten minutes later.

Each of my bike laps should be 2:40, getting me around the first by 1:35 EST, the second by 4:15 EST, and off the bike by 6:55 EST. If I have not finished the bike by 7:30 EST, or started the last lap by 5.00, I will be pulled from the race. Remember Lake Placid? I do.

The run laps should be 2:20, getting me around the first by 9:20 EST, the second by 11:40, and done by 2:00 Monday. If I have not started the last lap by 12:15 EST, I will be pulled.

Way too complicated.
Subtract about an hour for each leg for Christophe’s times.

Keep thinking good thoughts.

Jon

Christophe

Tentative durations:
Swim 2.4M: 01h30
T1: 15min
Bike 112M: 7h30 (2h30 per loop)
T2: 15min
Run 26.2M: 7h30 (2h for 1st loop, 2h30 for 2cd loop, 3h for 3rd loop)

Tentative Times
Start: 07:00
End swim: 08:30
End T1/ Start bike: 08:45
End bike loop 1: 11:15
End bike loop 2: 13:45
End bike loop 3: 16:15
End T2 / Start Run: 16:30
End run loop 1: 18:30
End run loop 2: 21:00
End run loop 3 / end race: 24:00

On a dark desert greenway, dull pain in my thigh
Sharp sting of Coppertone, burning my left eye
Up ahead in the distance, I saw a halogen light
Would I make it by the appointed hour
Or stop somewhere in the night?

Would I burst through that archway
And hear the music swell?
Would I get to Finisher’s Heaven
Or wind up in DNF Hell?
Then I heard Mike Riley calling from far, far away
He was summoning the laggards,
I thought I heard him say…

Welcome to the Ironman Arizona
Such a sandy place (Such a sandy place)
Such a friendly race
Sucking it up at the Ironman Arizona
Two times this year (Two times this year)
You can do it here.

My chain was definitely twisted, and then my aerobar bends
I got passed by skinny, skinny boys and all my friends
How they dance on the pedals, sweet autumn sweat,
Some ride through December, just why I forget.

So I drafted some big dogs,,
‘Then I heard Jimmy Riccitello whine,
He said, “you need to sit in this penalty box til 2009,.”
And still Riley’s voice is calling from far away,
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear him say…

Welcome to the Ironman Arizona,
Such a lovely place (Such a lovely place)
Such a friendly race
We’re sucking it up at the Ironman Arizona
What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise)
Bring your alibis

Mirrors on my Oakley’s,
The green Gatorade on ice
And I’m clipped in like a prisoner on a titanium device
And at the last aid station,
We slow down for the feast
We grab Gu with our sweaty hands,,
But we just can’t rip the crease

Last thing I remember, I was shuffling to the tent
I had to get an IV before the medics went.
“Relax,” said the nice nurse,
“We will be here all night.
You can finish any time you like,
But you can never give up the fight!”

Here is an interesting alternative to mindless meters in the pool this winter!

This is a quick post to set as a placeholder so people can post their experience about the race today.

Meanwhile, I am going to continue my ice bath. Did I mention it was hot? And steep. And loooooong…

Congrats to Litl’bit for placing not third, or second, but Numero Uno – #1 – in her age group. Litl’bit, when you run out of room for all your trophies, I will be happy to hang them up in my house.

We have drunk the HEED flavored Kool-Aid.

We have flexed our credit cards and slogged through Active.Com’s ridiculous signup.

Yes, we have signed up for a long course lashing in 2009.

This list will be updated if we can sucker invite more people to join in the fun.

Rap Master Sass

Stabu
KarenG8r
Litl’Bit
Squeeky
Sandbagger

When: 6:30 AM

Distance: TBD

Weather: Warm

Option 2 – New Hope Overlook (Duke Half Training)

Help Herbs with his Farewell to Umstead run! He is heading back to NY – so your opportunities to honor him with your presence are running low.

Sarah aka TriDoc should be joining the Umstead crew for her first visit. Make sure to look out for her and welcome her into the group. Click the link above or use the map below for directions – or feel free to post a question here to make sure you sync up with the group!

View Larger Map

Update! Read Rap Master’s full report after the jump!

From the team that brought you Pathetic at Kinetic.

“One day it started to rain, and it didn’t stop that day, or the next day, or the day after that either. There was big fat rain, tiny stinging rain, sideways rain, and rain that somehow seemed to be coming up from below.”. — Forrest Gump.

As Alan said, the difference between IMLP and waterboarding was the board. About 150 people dropped out some time after the swim, and all of them seemed to be around me.

If your body fat was below 12, forget bicycle and think popsickle. The ambulances were picking up three and four Smurfs.at a time. The medical tent looked like the audition line for Blue Man Group.

Just before seven a.m., we bobbed in our wetsuits, trying to conserve energy while slowly treading water. There is nothing like pounding Smashing Pumpkins, a hovering Versus chopper, and Mike Reilly’s familiar, enthusiatic voice on the P.A. to give you serious butterflies.

At the cannon’s boom, I started wrestling with 2500 motivated athletes for space to swim. I got pushed aside, crawled over, and tugged under. And I weigh 207 lbs.

The first fat raindrops on my swim cap were confusing. Then I was just getting pelted from above and below at the same time. Still, I swam the 2.4 miles at exactly the same pace that I swam 750 meters the previous week at Crabtree. I passed Alan at the beginning of the second lap.

After getting stripped of our wetsuits, we sprinted a quarter of a. mile through town to the transition area. Thousands of screaming fans lined the streets, slapping our hands.

Dale, our first casualty, spent 31 minutes shivering in T-1 while an apparently illiterate volunteer brought her wrong bag after wrong bag. I knew something was awry when I hopped on my bike, and she was right in front of me.

Not only was Dale freezing, but her brakes would not hold. We passed each other a few times going downhill, and I had a NASCAR moment: “Dale’s brakes were fading, so I had to get away not to be caught up in the crash.”

We started up the first hill, and Dale passed me (of course). Then somebody else did, and another, and another. I stopped at the first aid station to check my tires. They were fully inflated.

Alan zoomed past me, and I saw him and Dale conferring at the top of the mountain plunge to Keene. I assumed she was deciding whether to go screaming brakeless for six miles at 50 mph.

I tucked down, held my breath, and let go. As my glasses had fogged over, I had to peer over them or under them. It was like trying to look into a firehose. I did not know one could take so many pellets to the eyes without going blind. Stick your head out the window while driving in the rain, and try to stay on the road.

Every time I came up on a slower bike, there was a momentary panic that they would hit me, and then zing! they were gone. My biggest fear was not merely falling, but sliding across the road and under a truck coming up the mountain. I was not worried about getting hit from behind, as I was going faster than any cars. The only thing that passed me was Alan.

No Dale. I later learned that she turned around and rode home. Smart move.

We took a left at Keene, and zipped another 14 miles or so into Jay. Then the axe fell.

As we turned onto 86 for a six mile climb into Wilmington, the parade formed on my left. Everyone who had not passed me on the hill outside Placid went around me. Mountain bikes, folding bikes, tandems, training wheels, unicycles.

I stopped and checked my tires again. No problem. Then I checked to see if a brake pad was rubbing the wheel. Nope.

I saw Alan before the Hazelton Road turnaround. He was about three miles ahead of me.

As we were coming up the last hill back to Wilminton, a rider got off his bike and started pushing it. At last somebody I could pass. Just as I got to them, my front tire did go flat. For real this time.

It took about 12 minutes to fix the tire, but I could never get it quite full. Each time I took the CO2 nozzle off, some air would hiss out before I could close the valve.

This was at 43 miles. I hunted for a techie with a pump till the 89 mark.

At some point, I had an epiphany. What if my deep dish rims had filled with water? That had happened in a minor way once. Sure would explain the heavy sluggishness. For the rest of the ride, I imagined that this was the problem.

The 12-mile climb through the Notch was hot nearly as bad as I recalled. Soon, I was onto a second lap, virtually solo this time.

On my way back up Hazelton Road, I picked up an NY State Trooper motorcycle escort. It then dawned on me that I was the Last Biker. Smokey stayed with me the rest of the way in. Each time I would pass somebody, I would go another mile up the hill and be passed by a State Trooper SUV with that competitor’s bike on the back..

After the turn at Papa Bear, I had two motorcycles with sirens. We swept up two more competitors in town, who actually finished behind me. People were still cheering, believe it or not.

After I got to the Dismount Line, a nice lady snatched my chip: “Sorry, but your races are over.” No argument from me, but the guy behind me was in tears, pleading with her while I fled to a dry tent.

Epilogue:

Dale spent the day curled on the sofa, watching TdF and swigging hot chocolate.

Alan finished ten minutes before midnight, and rested comfortably in the medical tent till 1:30.

We spin my bike wheels at the Inside Out tent yesterday morning. “Gurgle, gurgle, gurgle!”

People came over to listen. A girl said it sounded like her Sleep Machine.

I felt strong the whole day, even after finishing the bike. I did not plan on a nine-hour weight workout, but it may have been good for me.

Anyone up for a slow marathon this weekend? My body is one short.

Yes those are the air raid sirens going off. Actually, those big sirens are what wake up all the folks in Chatham county when there is a nuclear melt down at Sharon Harris. And they are going off because there are only 245 spots left for the Duke Half Triathlon 2008.

Who is joining? Squeeky, Alfonso???

UPDATE – 6/9/08 – Closed! Charity spots may still be available.

You snoozed.
You losed.
(Psst! Still plenty of room in Duke! )

You know the drill – call all your friends, make arrangements, ponder yet another triathlon. The 2008 Wilmington YMCA Triathlon is starting the closeout. Don’t say we didnt warn you.

Several of you can attest to the end of the season sprint. Squeeky and Litl’bit have done it. Rap Master and KarenG8r?

And before you start laughing at the “598″ number, consider that over 700 people have already committed for the race almost 5 months away.

Get ready to splash in at the Blockade Runner!

Click here for the men’s 2008 White Lake Half Triathlon results

Click here for the women’s 2008 White Lake Half Triathlon results

I am looking forward to posting one of the most interesting photos taken of me in a LONG time – credit to Rap Master Sass.

Full Flickr set here. Email me if you want to upload your pix directly to the group Flickr account.